


Wasp in Amber

by Drachenkinder



Series: The Promise [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Eating Disorders, Grandthorki Day 2020, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:26:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27086293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drachenkinder/pseuds/Drachenkinder
Summary: Sequel to The Promise. For Grandthorki day 2020. Totally screwed up dynamics.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor/Grandmaster implied
Series: The Promise [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976908
Comments: 25
Kudos: 46
Collections: Grandthorki Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grandmaster is entertained. Then he isn't.

Loki moved in a soft whisper of silk on silk and the greedy eyes followed him. Thor walked quietly behind, the image of indifference, though he longed to shatter the bones of every leering face. 

Or, Thor thought, he had once longed to do that. He had once felt rage and guilt and shame. And now? Had the mask become the reality? All he felt was a despair so deep it took the last shreds of his will to hide it from Loki. To plea with his brother to hang on, to trust him, to believe that Thor would find a way out. 

Loki was too smart for that. He didn’t believe in any end but death. Thor didn’t either, but there was a stubbornness so deep in him he couldn’t give up even if he knew it was hopeless. Or was Loki right and it was only fear of being here alone which kept him from giving his brother release? 

Loki swayed across the room headed for the bar. He looked as if he’d been drinking already, but Thor knew it was the weakness of starvation that made him so unsteady. He hadn’t eaten anything since their conversation two days before. He also knew Loki had every intention of drinking himself unconscious before the evening’s entertainment got underway. Thor watched without interference as Loki ordered the same cocktail that last evening had him boneless and unfeeling before Thor had half stripped him. 

Loki raised his drink, and had taken one swallow when their host spoke from behind Thor.

“Now, now, kitten we really don’t want a repeat of last night, now do we?”

“Don’t we?” Loki said with a ghost of his previous acerbity. He raised the glass to his painted lips again.

“No.” said the Grandmaster with a frown, and he closed his hand around Loki’s wrist and forced his arm down. “We don’t. You were dull, dull, dull last night. Boring even. Big bro had to carry the show. That wasn’t fair to him now was it? Not fair to your fans and most importantly, not at all fair to me.” He cupped Loki’s jaw and his nails pressed into Loki's cheek.

Once, Thor would have interfered. Once, he would have tried to crush the frail seeming man with his fist. Once, he would have raised his voice in objection. Once he would have looked away in frustration.

Now he only observed the Grandmaster without an expression. Any action on his part had only made it worse for Loki. Which in turn had made it worse for Thor. He’d learned to endue as his brother endured. Whatever the Grandmaster decided to do he would do. Whatever he decided they would do, they would do. Fighting, Thor knew, was worse than pointless. He mildly wondered at Loki’s little rebellion. Then he dismissed the thought. Loki was hoping to provoke Grandmaster into killing him. If he did? Thor looked at that possibility. Watched his brother trying to nonchalantly endure that probing golden gaze. It would be…

A relief. 

Thor met Loki’s eyes and nodded. If Loki was to be killed by another’s hand he wouldn’t try and stop them, as long as it wasn’t too prolonged. And if it was… Thor gave Loki an encouraging smile, the first he’d had to give in months. Thor would take care of his brother. He should have done it already. 

Thor smiled at Loki again and all the love in his heart shone through his expression. It was as if a burden had fallen from his shoulders. The Grandmaster read something in Loki’s faint answering smile. He turned and scowled at Thor and Thor ignored him.

“I do love you.” Thor said.

Loki shut his eyes. “I know.”

“Well isn’t that sweet.” The Grandmaster, said abandoning his grip on Loki’s jaw to slide one arm around Loki’s shoulder and the other around Thor’s. He turned them to face the room. “Isn’t that sweet everybody? To see two brothers who really love each other. That's what we're here for. Family is so important I always say, don’t I always say…”

Thor interrupted him. “I’m taking you up on your offer.”

The Grandmaster squeezed Thor’s shoulder so hard the bones ground together. “I’m talking here Sparkles. Did you not hear me?” He raised his hand from Thor’s aching shoulder to wave it back and forth. “Did you hear me talking?” he inquired from the room. There were nods and cries of “Yes Grandmaster, I heard you talking.”

“See they heard me. You are just, just being rude. Don’t they teach manners on Assburg?”

“They do. But Loki has always been better mannered then I have.”

“Yes, well..”

“And cleverer too. An excellent warrior. An outstanding scholar. He’s much better at diplomacy then I ever was.”

“You are a better leader.” Loki said. “You are good at inspiring people. They know you care.”

“This is all very nice but..”

“So do you. You were loyal to Asgard even when Asgard was not loyal to you. But you think, when I react.”

“Sometimes action is what is called for. Water under the bridge now, Thor.”

“As I was saying...” the Grandmaster said and dug his fingers hard into both brothers’ shoulders.

Thor nodded. “Do you have a preference?” He asked softly.

“Well, I’ve always been fond of the blade.” Loki said with a wry smile.

“Now look here.” The Grandmaster said.

“You’re good with them.” Thor said.

“I hope you will be, also.” Loki answered.

“Have I gone invisible? Inaudible?” The Grandmaster said. He pointed to a woman in bright pink feathers. “Can you see me?”

The woman opened her beak and squawked a nervous laugh. She looked from side to side as if to see if any of the others were laughing. “Yes! No!” She squawked again and tried to retreat into the crowd, but the Grandmaster's attention was already off her, as Loki was speaking.

“Please, please do forgive us.” Loki pressed up against the Grandmaster and nuzzled his neck. “Thor had this idea, but I am sure it is not to your taste.”

Thor frowned at Loki wondering what he was up to now.

“Really? Why don’t you try me baby.”

“Honestly Grandmaster, you wouldn’t like it at all.”

Thor harrumphed.

“Lolo, don’t be a tease. You owe him for last night. Let’s hear it."

Loki slumped. “He wants us to fight.” he muttered.

“I thought you might like the novelty.” Thor put in. 

“I have an arena for that.” The Grandmaster said. 

Loki sighed and kissed the side of the Grandmasters jaw. “I told him you wouldn’t like it.”

“Yes, but this would be up close.” Thor said. “Intimate.”

“It would spice things up. You two have… been… I hate to be cruel but… you have been in a rut lately.”

“We could try something different, add three, perhaps four other participants tonight?” Loki said.

“Baby where would you fit them all? No, no, Sparkles is right. This is just what you need. So fists?" He tilted his head, considering. "No. Sorry Lolo but you are just no match for Big Bro in the bruiser department. Why the fight would be over before I could enjoy it. I know! Knives! That’s what you were talking about! Thought you’d slip that by me, didn’t you? Knives it is.” 

He walked them to the front of his throne, turned them around and gave them a push toward the middle of the room. Loki stumbled a few steps and then straightened up. The Grandmaster clapped his hands.

“Clear a space, clear a space. The boys are going to give us a show before the show. Hope you’re not wearing your best clothes, this might get a little messy.” He laughed and sat down. “Lolo get your knives out and give one to Sparkles.”

Loki’s hand was a blur and Thor barely sidestepped the blade that flashed toward him. He had only a second to pull it from the chest of the man behind him before Loki was on him.

“This is good!” The Grandmaster laughed in delight. 

They feinted and dodged. And Thor growled. ”You should have eaten more Loki. You’ll need to get help to win this.” 

“So I shall.” Loki panted, his steps already faltering. He drove in hard, Thor dropped to one knee, caught Loki’s upraised foot and tossed him head over heels toward a guard. Loki landed blade first, slicing the man’s throat as he fell. He traded the knife for the gun and still on his knees strafed it across the room at his brother.

The guests screamed and scrambled to get out of the way, but many fell to the relentless energy blasts.

Thor jumped the line of fire, stabbed the guard next to him, who was raising his weapon at Loki and wrenched it from his dying hands.

He opened fire in Loki’s direction as his brother surged to his feet and returned the attack. The guests trampled each other trying to avoid the fire fight. Some raced to the doorway only to be cut off as Thor took a stand there and mowed through those blocking his view to Loki.

“Oh this is exciting!” The Grandmaster exclaimed, beaming at anyone still standing. 

Loki raced across the open space in front of the throne and Thor fired so close behind him the back of his loose tunic was burned off. The Grandmaster caught the melt stick as his latest assistant was cut in half. The blasts that washed over him didn’t so much as ruffle his hair.

“Naughty, Naughty.” he said shaking his finger at Thor. 

The gun clicked empty and Thor threw it toward Loki's last position and took out a woman cowering beside the throne. A round of fire caught Thor in the back, knocking him to the ground as the final guard entered the fray. Loki’s last shots cut him down as they sliced through the air Thor had occupied a second before. He too threw the gun aside and laughed as it hit a fallen man who raised his head amid the carnage. He advanced in a walk toward Thor who was slowly climbing to his feet. Both brothers once again held knives. A woman scrambled past Loki running for the door. He casually reached out, caught her flowing scarf, pulled her into his embrace, slit her throat and dropped her to the floor, all the while looking at his brother. They circled each other slowly. The floor was slippery with blood and spilled entrails, and the groans of the dying filled the air. 

“Here’s where it gets good.” The Grandmaster said to the corpse of a man propped against the bar.

“Like the number of your honor guard?” Thor asked baring his teeth in a grin.

“It could do with one more.” Loki spat.

“You could try.” Thor said. 

Loki’s knife hand was shaking, the tip dropping as the adrenaline surge of their fight wore off.

“I should have done this sooner.” Thor said, stepping in close to Loki, whose hand now hung at his side as he swayed on his feet. Thor put his free hand on the back of Loki’s neck and his forehead to his brother’s. Loki returned the embrace and for a moment they were frozen in place.

“Hey! What’s all this?” The Grandmaster said.

“Can you forgive me?” Thor asked. His blade pressed the exposed skin of Loki’s back, found the space under his shoulder blade and slid in to the hilt.

“Not on your life.” Loki snarled and with his last gasp he drove his knife up under Thor’s ribs and into his heart.

They fell entwined, a mockery of love amid the slaughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor said they'd fight. He didn't say they'd fight each other.   
> *there's more story ahead.*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chance.

The Grandmaster sat on his throne, a frown on his face and his finger to his lips. There was the sound of a sibilant bubbling as his last sycophant expired.

“That’s it? That’s your big finale?” He shook his head. “That was just so, so disappointing. You boys have really, and I mean really lost your touch.” 

He stood up and looked around the room. For a moment he considered reviving the dead but dismissed it. It was too much trouble and it would be amusing watching the next batch claw their way up into his favor. He sighed. It would be at least a day before this room would be usable. The blood and scorch marks on the walls were bad enough, but the stench was truly appalling. He raised his voice.

“I’m gonna need three, no make it four cleaning crews to the main throne room. And bring one of the air exchangers. Hop, hop!” 

He glanced at the bar, shook his head at the body of the bartender sprawled across a welter of broken bottles and dripping liquor, and walked over to where his latest entertainers lay. He wrinkled his nose in distaste when he stepped in something that was better kept inside someone, than carelessly spilled across the floor.

He nudged Thor and then Loki’s body with his foot. “Come on. Get up. No point in just lying there.” When there was no response he sighed. “Look I know you are upset. That last bit was so anticlimactic. But we all know you’re not dead.”

It was Thor who first blinked open his eyes. They were dull and blank. The tearing agony in his chest that had dropped him unconscious was already fading. He rose to his feet like an automaton and pulled a similarly unexpressive Loki upright. The knives slid from their rapidly healing wounds and clattered to the floor. Only a few bloody drops followed.

“You promised,” Thor spoke in a voice devoid of hope. ”that you wouldn’t revive him, if I killed him.”

The Grandmaster sighed in exasperation. “Since he didn’t die in the first place, Sparkles, I didn’t have to revive him. It’s not my fault you two didn’t bother to ask me if he _could_ be killed. Or if you could for that matter.”

“Let it go Thor.” Loki droned, “It is of no importance.”

The Grandmaster made a little moue. “You’re going to be like that are you?” He frowned deeper, tapped his finger on his lips and seemed to come to a decision. He waved his hands at them. 

“Go away. Just go away. I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

He swept past and out the door calling “Where are those crews? Do I have to melt someone to get anything done around here?” 

They stood in silence until the first cleaning crew arrived and then walked back to their room. It wasn’t there.

“Are we free?” Thor asked.

Loki just shrugged. 

“We could try to leave and see what happens.” Thor said.

Loki didn’t bother to reply to this, but he followed Thor to the hanger decks. There was a mechanic who looked up when they entered. After a some pressing persuasion he told them the codes on the interstellar ships.

They took a small patrol ship which had been recently restocked and headed out. No one pursued them. The trip through the wormhole was just as fraught with danger as it was last time, but neither of them expressed concern. They arrived in a quarter of space far from both Earth and Asgard’s former location. The worm hole was not as stable as they had been led to believe. Thor consulted the ship's star charts and pointed out their present position. Loki set a course for the nearest habitable planet, two months away.

There was a captains’ cabin and a smaller crew’s quarter with four bunks. Thor offered the captain’s cabin to Loki with a gesture. Loki turned him down with a shake of the head. They took turns in the tiny shower washing off the blood and in Loki's case, cosmetics. They dressed in the poorly fitting uniforms that were stored in the crew's berthing and destroyed their previous garments by spacing them within the drive field. The clothes were consumed in a brief flash against the darkness. Thor scrubbed their filthy shoe prints off the floor. Loki watched for a moment, got cleaning supplies of his own and wiped smears of blood from the bridge's control panels. 

Thor cracked the galley codes and heated two trays. He handed one to Loki who retreated to the bridge to eat. Thor has his meal in the galley. The rations were edible, neither terrible nor very good. It was only one more thing that didn’t need to be commented on. 

Loki set the autopilot for the night and vanished into the crew's berthing. Thor stripped off the too tight uniform, lay down on the captain’s bed and tuned off the light. He didn’t say anything when the cabin door opened and Loki was outlined in the hallway light, nor when his brother disrobed and crawled in naked beside him. Loki didn’t speak when Thor turned on his side, put an arm around his waist and curled against Loki’s back. After an hour of fruitlessly trying to sleep, Loki took Thor’s erection, guided it into his anus and masturbated while Thor mechanically fucked him. Only after did sleep come.

Over the weeks they developed a routine that kept them out of sight of each other during their day. They had their meals in turns. First Loki who left his empty tray as evidence he had eaten. Thor would view the morning video feed of the bridge anyway. After breakfast Loki checked their position, scanned for signs of other ships in their vicinity and make any needed adjustments to avoid them. Thor performed routine maintenance. They split cleaning the ship, Loki worked forward and Thor aft. Afternoons Thor either practiced blank firing their weapons array or played a variety of preprogramed computer games in the captain's cabin. Loki read from the extensive library or practiced his slowly returning magic in the crew's quarters. They showered separately every evening. Each night Loki lay beside his brother, took Thor into his body and they had emotionless sex. They slept in the same bed and went their separate ways upon rising.

They hadn’t spoken since Sakaar when Loki said of the tortured mechanic. “You had better kill him.” and Thor answered “You’re right.” and snapped the man’s neck.

Silence lived in the ship like a third crewman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can you speak, when words are not enough?  
> (had to make a few late revisions.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki takes a break.

The planet Clegi was a pale bluish green dot on their port side for most of the day as they worked their way through its solar system. Loki thought it better to have the little ship’s jump drive drop them out at the edge of the normal shipping routes. Dropping in too close could be seen as an act of aggression. The planet was marked as an open commercial port and it had been, at the time the star charts of this area were last entered into the ship’s navigation system, part of the Xandarian Trading Alliance. Loki hoped the they still were. 

He and Thor had nothing to sell of any value, other than the ship itself, and they were in need of supplies. However, Loki had scattered the wealth Odin once horded, across the Galaxy and part of it was banked with the Trading Alliance. His strategy had allowed the Aesir refugees the funds to make their way to Earth after the destruction of their world, though that wasn’t why he’d gutted Asgard’s treasury. He’d known it was only a matter of time before his impersonation of Odin was found out and Loki had wanted resources available to aid his flight.

Loki didn’t know if Thor intended to go back to Earth and the settlement of New Asgard. They hadn’t discussed it. They didn’t discuss anything. The thought of returning to the place they had been plucked so effortlessly from made Loki shudder. Though he knew no place was safe should the Elder change his mind and want them back. Loki knew if he were strictly rational Earth was one of the safer destinations.

The Grandmaster hadn’t come hunting them. He’d been in residence on Earth for a few weeks prior to their arrival. Apparently on a whim to see if he could recruit another champion on the Hulk’s home world. He’d kept, according to his chatter on the return to Sakaar, a low profile as he wasn’t supposed to be on Earth at all. He’d mentioned a pact, and people with no sense of humor and brothers who really should mind their own business. But since he was, in his words, retrieving lost property, none of the interfering busybodies would bother about his technical rule bending. Loki hadn’t been sure if the lost property was the tesseract, (“I wondered where I’d left that.”) Loki, Thor or the Statesman. It hardly mattered as he’d confiscated all four. Loki hoped he wasn’t as invested in the little patrol ship. 

His musing was interrupted by a call from the planet requesting their identification and purpose for their visit.

It took him three tries and half a glass of water before he could force the Aesir ship codes from his throat and croak the word “resupply.” 

A reply came back. “Your ship is not registered with the Aesir fleet. We will be sending a boarding party to further identification.”

Thor’s voice was a harsh roar over the weapons com. “This is Thor Odinson, King of Asgard. This ship is fair plunder taken in combat against our foes. Should you to wish to become an enemy of Asgard, attempt to board her. Otherwise await our landing.”

Loki took another sip. “I am not sure that was wise.” he said over the ship’s intercom. 

“Fuck wise.” Thor growled. ”What are they going to do, shoot us out of the sky?”

“It is a possibility.”

“Then we better hope the immortality hasn’t worn off yet.”

“It was still in effect last night.” 

Thor’s reply was cut off as port control came back on. “Aesir ship DS 835 AAL please lock down your weapons array and follow the piloting beacon to noncommercial ship dock 71119 section 4, 12th level. A company representative will be there to confirm your identification.” 

“Understood port control.” Loki said. 

He linked their navigation with the beacon and deactivated their weapons. 

“That went better than I expected.” Loki said. Ignoring Thor’s sputtering, he shut off the intercom and focused on bringing the ship to dock. The impulse that had led him to bait Thor had died and he had no desire to explain his comment. 

His hope that Thor would take the hint and continue to honor their previous arraignment was shattered when Thor pounded on the locked bridge door, demanding that Loki open it and explain himself. Loki let him bellow until it became obvious that Thor was not going to give up. Loki disengage the locks, they didn’t need the added expense of replacing a damaged hatch.

“What, by Niflhel, did you mean it was still in effect?” Thor yelled stalking toward Loki.

“I’m trying to land the ship.” Loki said evenly, though the process was fully automated and only required minimal attention. “If you damaged the seals on that door the repair costs are coming out of your provisions. Provided there are still funds in the Trade Alliance account. Xandar does have a tendency to get itself invaded every few decades. Still, the Alliance is good about not questioning the provenance of one’s credits.”

Thor loomed in his most imposing manner. “Stop trying to change the subject.”

Loki looked up at his brother. “Threatening me doesn’t work anymore. In case you’ve forgotten, I have already suffered your worst.”

Thor deflated and slumped into the copilot’s seat. “Please Loki, tell me you haven’t been… testing…the…the…”

Loki gave Thor a level stare. “Don’t be so fastidious. You can say “trying to kill myself.” Why should I tell you anything? It’s none of your business. Besides, I thought you didn’t like it when I lie.”

“So you did attempt it.” Thor said. 

A female voice came over the com. “Aesir ship DS 835 AAL shut down your engine and prepare for docking.” 

Port control had passed them onto the dock authorities. 

“This will have to wait, Thor. We’ve more important things to deal with.”

“More important than you attempting suicide?”

Loki tilted his head considering. “Considering my attempts have not yet been successful, yes.” He stood up. “Let me get the registration of this ship settled and see if the Xandar Trade Alliance account is still active. If you could refrain from starting a war while we are here, I would appreciate it.”

Thor narrowed his eyes. “Later then. I’ll not forget.”

Loki braced against the doorway at the sudden jar and clang of the dock clamps attaching, then turned toward the outer hatch and keyed in the opening code.

A tiny grey furred humanoid, barely 4 feet tall looked up at Loki with large black eyes. It was wearing a blue uniform similar to the two much larger, armed creatures that accompanied it, though its uniform was more elaborate. Loki wasn’t sure if the dark blue fur on its head was its own, or some type of hat. 

“Welcome to the Clegi Free Trade Alliance Southern Hemisphere noncommercial port.” Its voice was surprisingly deep. “Vocal analysis has determined a 92 percent chance you are the Aesir Princes Loki and Thor Odinson. Would you be so good as to provide a genetic sample for confirmation?” 

They exchanged devices and Loki pressed his finger into a depression on the top of the small pad. He felt a cold pressure as skin cells were removed. It seemed primitive until one remembered that any tissue taken from a Skrull reverted to its base DNA once removed from its body. Loki handed the pad to Thor who’d followed him and Thor repeated the process and returned the pad to grey fellow who studied for a moment and slipped it into its belt pouch.

“I’m not familiar with the previous owner’s planetary system. Sakaar?” The official wiggled its whiskered nose as it checked the ship’s registration. “Prior to that it was owned by one Ecker Tsvder of Riger-Glither six. Hmm. The transfer to Sakaar registration is in order. I’d have your chronometer replaced, the time is ahead by over 12 galactic years.” It handed Loki back the ship’s registration.

“We traveled through a worm hole.” Thor explained.

The creature looked at the ship in surprise. “In that? Well that would explain the time differential. You will need to make a claim of rightful plunder and pay the transfer of ownership fee, but as you are, who you say you are, I do not foresee any difficulty.”

“Does the Free Trade Alliance still honor the Xander Trade Alliance credit system?” Loki asked.

The creature blinked twice and its small pink ears flicked forward. “Certainly. Nova Corps decided to divest itself from officially recognizing the FTA. Political reasons.” It made washing motions with its pink hands. “Only a name change I assure you. Your account should be in order Prince Loki.” It turned its head to Thor and wiggled its nose again. “Congratulation on your ascension to the Throne your majesty. Pardon the mistitling, we are at the tail end of the galaxy and our information is not always up to date.”

Thor was gracious, the official helpful and they were given directions to the nearest registry office. Loki was pleased to find a healthy balance in his account. It was from the gold that had supposedly been used to build his memorial statue. That had been his first exercise in moving assets off of Asgard. It was easy to procure enough of the metal to build it from the treasury and easier still to send most of it off world, leaving only a enough to gild the finished bronze sculpture. He’d not been the first monarch to do such a thing. If Bor’s statue had been the solid granite it looked it, would have ripped the wing off that Dark elf’s ship Thor stole. Odin had cut a few corners himself in its construction. 

Loki transferred enough credits to resupply the ship into Thor’s account while he was filing the plunder claim, and slipped out to explore Clegi on his own. 

First order was a haircut and a change of clothing. A barber was easy enough to find with the city guide he’d picked up at the registry office. He walked out ten minutes later with his hair clipped to fall just below his jawline.

He eschewed the tailor shops, there were ready made garments that would do for now. Loki had lost a lot of weight and muscle tone and was not interested in wearing anything that made that obvious. He avoided the luxury fabrics, they had too many bad associations, likewise he decided against the leather and metal layers of his warrior past. He settled for loose fitting pants in thick black wool, a muted green linen shirt and a black wool tunic. A heavy dark green hooded clock and low black felted boots finished his ensemble. 

He wandered in search of meal that didn’t come prepackaged and followed his nose into a restaurant where sliced meat and vegetables sizzled in wide pans. After his meal he strolled through the port town taking in the sights. It was a pretty city as cities go. Relatively clean, and surrounded by low rolling hills covered in neat rows of crops. There was a pleasant river that flowed through the heart of the city skirted by twin narrow parks. Many of the inhabitants were of the same species as the official who’d met their ship, but over half were humanoid and many looked enough like the Aesir that Loki went unmarked. As night fell the gaming establishments opened up to lure in the unwary and part them from their credits with promises of free drinks and easy money. Loki had no interest in them, their noise and garish lights too reminiscent of recent experiences. But among the casino district, were offerings of a more private nature. Checking the guide he selected one which seemed promising. 

The house was on a quiet street off the main gaming area and looked like a well to do home. There was a modest sign beside the door welcoming the discerning customer. Loki entered the vestibule where a formally dressed man checked his credit level before passing him inside. A woman greeted him, offered him a drink, which he declined and inquired about his preferences. Loki was led to a table and several women and a young man came and spoke with him. He made an agreement with a plump woman with a cute laugh, a charming accent and rainbow hued hair. Together they went up to her room. She was patient, gentle and told him numerous scandalous jokes during their encounter. To Loki’s relief everything worked. It wasn’t his most outstanding performance, but he didn’t leave his partner wanting. At the end of the hour he thanked her, left her a large tip, which earned him a kiss on his nose. She commented that his patronage would be welcomed, should he wish to return. Loki also tipped the huge man on duty in the hall and the proprietor of the establishment.

Loki stood outside the house and ran his hands through his short cropped hair. He considered leaving Thor. Letting his brother make his own way back to Earth. There was no reason to stay together and many to go their separate ways. He picked at his fingers for a few moments, then sighed and headed back to the docks. His respite was over. It was time to back to the recriminations, to the pain, to the torn and stained fabric of their relationship.

Loki paused on the main thoroughfare a mile from dock entrance when he heard Thor calling his name. Thor pushed through the crowds. His brother didn’t look pleased. Loki noticed he was still wearing the too small ship's uniform. He wondered what he’d been doing for the past 12 hours.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you!”

That answered that question and set up the next. “Why?”

“WHY?” Thor shouted. “Because the damned local guards couldn’t be bothered hunting for you.”

“I wouldn’t think so. I’m not a lost child. Have you had dinner?”

“DINNER!” Thor bellowed. He grabbed Loki by the shoulders and shook him. “How could I eat when I thought you might be lying in some back alley with your throat slit or crushed under the wheels of a local cargo carrier?”

“If you tear the material of my new clothes you will be the one paying for the replacements. Now let me go and stop acting like an overly emotional idiot.”

Thor released him with a curse. Loki straightened his clothing and made a show of checking the seams. “I for one have had a strenuous day and am hungry. If you want to be rational you can join me in a decent meal.”

Loki brushed past his brother and checked the guide for a restaurant. Thor fell in beside him. His clenched fists told of his emotional state.

“I gather you didn’t purchase the required supplies.” Loki said.

“No!” Thor snapped. 

Loki could almost hear his brother’s teeth cracking. The tension he’d managed to shed for a few hours crawled up his back and settled between his shoulders.

“Well I can’t say I am eager to return to the confines of that ship for another two months. I suppose we can take a few days here before heading back to Earth, if that is where you intend to go.”

Thor glowered but didn't answer.

Loki turned into a thronged restaurant. The volume of the other patron’s chatter would afford them some privacy and he hoped their presence would keep Thor from making a scene. The wait to be seated gave him a chance to consider his strategy and for Thor to calm down.

Thor didn’t take it. He didn’t even glance at the menu pad and Loki had to put in their meal, taking his time over the selections in an effort to delay the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is a survivor. His way of dealing once he's past his immediate reaction is ignore the trauma and go on like nothing happened. Thor however will try to fix whatever is wrong.  
> Loki's offhand mention of suicide attempts is a way of reaching out, but his instinct is to immediately rationalize why he said anything (to upset Thor) and then try to get Thor to stop pursuing the subject he has no desire to discuss.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming to an understanding.

“I’ve ordered you the local equivalent of aurochs, or what tastes like it.” Loki nattered. He knew Thor wasn’t listening but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “It could be an over sized rodent for all I know. It does have a touch of citrus flavor, and a slight undertone of boar, however I think…”

“Where were you?” Thor cut in. “Why didn’t you tell me where you were going? Why are you trying to kill yourself? Don’t you understand we are free now? How could you just leave after all we have been through?”

Loki took a drink of his water before answering. “Sightseeing. Why should I? Why wouldn’t I? Are we? By walking.” He folded his hands together on the table. “Now that that’s out of the way, do you intend to return to New Asgard?”

“Why must you be like this?”

“Why must you?’

“Stop answering every question with a question.”

“Very well. I’m like this because it is who I am. I didn’t tell you where I was going because I didn’t want you to know and even more I didn’t want you to accompany me. As for trying to kill myself, presently it’s because I would like to know I have that option open should it become necessary. If you are wondering how I could simply walk away, after what you did to me for that bastard’s entertainment, I thought that would have been self-explanatory.” 

“But it’s over now. We survived.”

“If it’s over, what have we been doing for the past two months?” Loki said. He refrained from mentioning he hadn’t wanted to survive.

“You are the one who comes to me.” Thor said.

Loki was saved from answering by the arrival of their food.

Thor stopped talking and applied himself to his meal. He obviously enjoyed it, as he ordered two more platters and several glasses of the local beer. Distracted from his anger by the food, Thor finally relaxed. Loki ate slowly so he didn’t have to wait while Thor finished. He breathed a sigh of relief when Thor didn't try to continue the conversation.

“Since we aren’t leaving tonight," Loki said. "I’ll get us rooms and you can get yourself something else to wear. You look ridiculous.”

Thor huffed but agreed and then asked if Loki would go along with him. Loki frowned but acceded to his brother’s wish. After all he needed more than the one outfit and left to himself there was no telling what Thor would buy. The main marketplace was closed but there were a few places still open and they were able to make their purchases with only a minimum of searching. Thor’s clothes too were off the rack, but they fit if a little sloppily and were not too garish. 

The hotel was not one they would have chosen in the days of their prosperous youth, but it wasn’t a fleabag either. It had the advantage of being off the main road and therefor quieter and though it had little charm it was clean. Thor didn’t comment when Loki booked them one room. It came with a bathing chamber that had an enormous tub. Loki took one look at it and claimed first rights. There were bath oils, some foaming and a few with scents Loki deemed acceptable. Thor took off his uniform shirt and stretched out on the bed to wait his turn, while the water ran. He fully expected Loki to undress in the bathroom as was their custom. He was surprised when the water shut off and Loki appeared back in their room and started to disrobe in front of him. Thor turned on his side and looked away to give Loki some privacy. 

“Don’t want to see me in the light?” Loki said. “But I’m good enough for the dark?”

Thor turned back around and sat up. Loki was down to his underclothes.

“You know that’s not true.”

“How would I? You’ve avoided me as much as I’ve avoided you.”

“Must we fight?”

Loki peeled off the rest of his garments and stood naked before Thor. “I don’t wish to, but I don’t see how we can avoid it.”

Thor looked at his brother’s slender pale body and felt the heat rise in his groin. Loki turned away, took two steps and then looked back over his shoulder. “Would it be too much to ask you to bathe me Thor?”

Thor hesitated and Loki shrugged and walked into the bathroom. Before he could shut the door Thor’s hand was on the frame. 

“Do you want me to be dressed?”

“If you are more comfortable that way. Though you’ll stand a good chance of getting your pants wet, if you wished to keep them.” 

“I don’t.” Thor said and in a moment he was a naked as Loki.

Loki stepped into the tub and sank chest deep into bubbles with a sigh. Thor knelt on the thick towel beside the tub and soaped up a washcloth. He ran it over his brother’s shoulders. 

“Loki.” Thor said. “What are we doing?”

Loki leaned forward so Thor could wash his back. “I don’t know. I thought it was because of, of Sakaar. That we were conditioned to it after all that time. Then I told myself I was coming to you because I couldn’t sleep unless we…” He lifted a leg and Thor washed his foot and calf.

“I went to a house of prostitution earlier.” 

Thor paused then picked up his brother's other foot.

“I thought if I was with someone else, if I was able to have sex with someone else it would mean I wasn’t broken. I would mean I could stop, coming to you.”

“Were you, able?” 

Loki looked at Thor bit his lip and nodded. “I was. It was fine. In some ways a relief. But when I left I knew. I knew I was coming back. Back to you. Back to your bed.” 

“I’m sorry Loki.”

“Are you? Really?”

“I don’t want you to come to me if you don’t want to.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Not what we’ve been doing.”

Loki nodded. “Nor do I.” He cupped Thor’s bearded jaw, looked into his mismatched eyes. “If we are to have this, then it must be on our terms. There will be no more fucking. I’ve been fucked enough.” 

“Alright.” Thor said. 

Loki let Thor go and leaned back in the tub and closed his eyes. Thor ran the cloth over Loki’s chest and down his belly. Loki’s erection brushed the back of his hand. Thor ignored it as he ignored his own. He washed the front of Loki’s thighs.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Thor said.

“Kiss me for a start.” 

Thor took in a shaky breath. It was the one thing they hadn’t done under the Grandmaster’s hand. Too gentle for his tastes. Too much like affection for theirs.

Thor leaned over the tub and closing his own eyes, kissed Loki, slowly and gently. Loki kissed him back just as carefully. Thor leaned back and Loki smiled. 

“That was nice.” Loki said. “I’d like another. If you would.”

“I would.” Thor said, and did.

“There is plenty of room for two, if you straddle me. That way you wouldn’t have to wait for your bath.”

“I could do that.”

When he’d settled himself over his brother, Thor kissed him again. Gently exploring the way Loki’s lips felt against his. When they broke the kiss, Loki took the cloth from his hand. 

“My turn.” Loki said. He washed Thor with the same loving touch Thor had used on him. They kissed, traded positions so Thor could wash Loki’s backside. Kissed. They washed each other’s hair, fingers massaging scalps. Thor laughed when Loki rubbed shampoo into his beard and gave Loki one made of foam. It melted under their next kiss which tasted of soap bubbles. They drained the tub and stood up to rinse off under a spray of water. Thor put his arms around Loki and they swayed together as the water swirled warm down their skin, lips on lips or cheeks against cheeks.

Loki tuned off the water, stepped out and held out his hand to Thor. Thor took it though he didn’t need the assistance. But Loki was leading this dance and he was careful to follow his brother’s steps. They dried each other with soft towels, and then the warm air dryer for their hair. Their hands touched and inevitably their lips. Loki took Thor’s hand and led him to bed, a packet of skin lotion in his other hand.

“On your back, brother.” Loki said. 

Thor complied and Loki sat on his thighs and spread lotion over both their cocks, coxing them back into full hardness.

“Give me your hand brother.” Loki said, emphasizing the last word.

He anointed it with lotion and wrapped it around his cock and took Thor’s cock in his hand pressing their lengths together until he had them both in his hand. Thor shifted his grip to encompass the base his own shaft. Loki leaned forward and kissed Thor softly. He rocked his hips.

“Do you like my cock on yours, brother?” He whispered in Thor’s ear.

“Yes.” Thor said.

“Who am I?”

“You are Loki, the greatest sorcerer Asgard has ever known.”

“Only Asgard?” Loki said with a chuckle and kissed Thor again.

“You know more about the history of the nine then I. I will leave any claim for more up to you.”

“What else?”

“The crown prince, the hero of Ragnarok, the savior of our people, the writer of the worst play ever written in the nine.”

Loki nipped Thor’s lip. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You forget I saw it.” Thor stroked the fingers of his free hand through Loki’s hair and kissed him again.

“And?” Loki prompted when they came up for air.

“My beautiful, annoying, mischievous little brother who likes me stroking his ego even more then he likes me stroking his cock.”

“I am your brother?”

“Yes.”

“Even now?”

“Especially now.”

“I love you, too Thor.”

“I never doubted it.”

“Not even when I stuck a dagger in your heart?”

“To be fair, I stuck one in yours first.”

“Hmm.” Said Loki panting as he rocked faster. “You are forgetting New York.”

“Ha! You barely pricked my side.”

Loki kissed him again, this time it was short, more a peck then a real kiss. 

“I’m going to cum.”

“Do it my Love.” Thor said. When Loki furrowed his brow Thor cupped the back of his neck kissed his cheek and whispered, “Cum for me brother.” 

Loki shuddered. He thrust hard and fast into his and Thor’s hands and spilled warm over his brother’s belly. Slow pulses of pleasure that seemed more than merely physical. 

He was Thor’s and Thor was his and it was terrible and wonderful and right and wrong. He lay gasping, his eyes were wet with unshed tears. There was so much unspoken rage in him and so much love he didn’t know which would win. Thor was cage and freedom both. Safety and danger, torment and comfort. Past and future tangled in an unbreakable knot.

“There’s a good change I’ll kill you.” Loki said.

“I know.” 

“You know?” Loki pushed off his brother to roll onto his back, his chest heaving. “That’s all you can say? You know?”

“I know.” Thor said. He straddled Loki’s hips and stroked his own cock. “I accept the risk. You are worth it to me.”

Loki watched Thor stroke himself for a minute while he caught his breath. He patted Thor’s hip. “Get off. I want to suck your cock.”

“Are you sure?”

Loki pinched Thor’s butt painfully hard and he moved. Loki turned on his side and licked the head of Thor’s cock. He held his brothers hand in place. 

“Don’t stop stroking yourself. It’s been a long day.”

He took the head of Thor’s cock in his mouth and sucked. Thor moaned at the warm, wet, softness of his brother’s much kissed lips.

“You are,” Thor panted, “Going to have to let me do this for you next time.”

“Mmm hmmm.” Loki hummed. Thor gasped and Loki hummed again. 

“I’m close.” Thor warned. 

Loki lifted his head. “Cum in my mouth, brother.” he said and swallowed half of Thor’s thick length. 

“Norns!” Thor swore and Loki chuckled around his cock.

Thor made a strangled sound and filled Loki’s mouth with his seed. Loki sucked, swallowed sucked again as his brother shuddered in orgasm. He licked and mouthed until Thor had to pull his softening cock away. 

Loki sat up, his lips wet, parted, a trickle of Thor spend at the corner of his mouth. Thor pulled him close, kissed him and licked his tongue into Loki’s mouth where he tasted his own seed. Thor didn’t pull back but kissed Loki slowly. Loki’s arms closed around him, holding Thor just as tightly as he was held, kissing him just as gently. The kiss broke and Loki rested his chin on Thor’s shoulder.

“Is this then to be our future?” Loki asked. “Lovers, brothers, and sometimes enemies.”

“I could do without the last.”

Loki nipped Thor’s earlobe hard enough to make him yelp and pull away.

“You’ll not get off that easy my love.” Loki said. “No. Never that easy.”

Thor stretched out and Loki curled up, his head on Thor’s shoulder and Thor’s arm draped over his ribs. 

“Then it’s good,” Thor said with a yawn. He reached over to give Loki’s cock a tug. “It’s good I like things hard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily for the rest of the night. 
> 
> I know there are some unsettled issues, but that means I can pick this back up, once I finish up my other two stories, without leaving everybody on a cliffhanger if I decide not to later.


End file.
